Swan Song Gaming

Seven years. That’s how long it’s been since the Xbox 360 made its triumphant arrival and our current console generation officially kicked off. That’s all the way back in 2005. We could have swallowed a fistful of chewing gum the day it was announced and still had plenty of time to squeeze it through our digestive tract.

With Nintendo’s Wii U already on shelves, the PlayStation 4 on the horizon and a new Xbox following closely behind, our focus is already starting to shift from the warm and friendly to the new and shiny. One of the longest console generations ever may have finally started to drag, but don’t leave it behind – there’s still life left in the old dog yet. In fact, this year could end up being the best 12 months we’ve had since 2005’s heady days of Lost and Kelly Clarkson. Read More

Teabot eyes-on: Hedone

We gamers sure do love a nice juicy acronym, eh? MMO, RPG, FPS, RTS – can’t we just call them all ‘big gun explosion funtimes’ and be done with it?

Two tags you don’t see sitting alongside each other too often are MMO and FPS, and when I heard about Hedone – an online shooter with nuggets of role playing sprinkled in for good measure – the first thing that sprang to mind was popping into World of Warcraft with an Uzi and mowing down levels twos in a dwarf-filled bloodbath. And with a free-to-play system also firmly in place, this may well be the world’s first F2PMMOFPS. Now there’s a mouthful.

Developer ACONY may have its fingers in a lot of pies, but Hedone is still a shooter deep down, offering players the usual ‘look down your sights and jump around until one of you falls over’ combat we’ve come to love thanks to Call of Duty. Game Director Mario Rizzo has taken his inspiration from all over the shop, throwing everything from Pulp Fiction to Gears of War into the mixing pot and pulling out a bastard child full of tongue-in-cheek characters and surprisingly well-drawn plot points. Taking place in a star-spangled future where entertainment pretty much boils down to watching a headshot-fuelled version of Big Brother, players will battle across a range of gritty locations while sexy robot cameras film every blood-splattered corner for the masses sitting at home. Think Running Man, just without lycra jumpsuits and muscle-bounded ex-governors. Read More

Game Over, man: Let’s end games properly

Watch out! Spoilers aplenty dwell below…

I know I’m in the minority here but, believe it or not, I didn’t think The Usual Suspects all that good – at least not until the last five minutes. If I want to see middle-aged men stand around talking for 90 minutes I’ll just watch Masterchef. But when Kevin Spacey’s drivelling Verbal finally revealed himself as Keyser Söze and stopped walking around like a wounded duck, the film transformed from a decent distraction into an instant classic. With the right ending, even the most flaccid of flicks can become something to talk about. Films take their endings seriously, and so should games.

We all know games are striving for a more cinematic feel these days, and while I don’t think that’s always the best of ideas, I do think they can learn a little from the talkies about ending something with a little heart. I’ve lost count of how many times a game has dragged me into its world, only to spit me out the other side without as much as a hug goodbye. Read More

Street Cleaning Simulator: the forgotten greats of gaming

L.A. Noire is great. inFamous 2 is great. The Witcher 2 is great. Blah, blah, blah, enough is enough, people. If I have to hear ‘Portal 2’s a masterpiece’ one more time I’ll beat myself to death with a Companion Cube. I’m tired of all these so-called ‘classics’ getting all the attention while the cream of the crop, the truly incredible pieces of gaming artwork, sit lifeless and cold at the bottom of your local GAME’s bargain bin crying out for someone to love them. You should be ashamed of yourselves; their sobbing voices sound like little digital babies.

There’s nothing wrong with finding a nice pile of forgotten games in your local shop and having a good old rummage like the filthy hobo you are, and most of the time you can find some real gems hidden in there – you just have to dig deep enough into its sweaty bowels. Duke Nukem Forever? Urgh, keep going. Ico? Better, but keep digging. Uncharted 2? Nearly there…

Wait, what’s this? Street Cleaning Simulator? Now we’re getting somewhere. Read More